I need to move out. I don't see how I go much longer living here. It feels like you just want someone to control, you don't even care how fucking stupid your 'rules' are.

I was right. You did make me feel better.
<3

Fuck you.

So, love it when I get drunken phone calls. Love it when an 'apology' makes me feel like shit. I was so fucking happy. Nothing was wrong. Then you try and fuck shit up. You know what? Fuck you. I will not let this get to me. I found someone who likes me and doesn't treat me like shit. I will continue to be happy and continue to not give a shit about you or your life. You're fucking jealous.

I can't wait until tomorrow. You always manage to make me feel better.

LIFE

I AM DRUNK!
ON CHRISTMAS!!
WHOOHOOO!
LIFE IS GOOD!

Pfft.

It's kinda terrible and I know I'm not the best person for supporting it, but I'm closer with her anyways. And you treat her like shit. So, you know what? You don't deserve her. I'll help her get out, dammit.

Christmas!

Christmas is tomorrow! So soon! I am 100% excited! <3

Random hangout? WEIRD.
I bruised Sydney apparently
This eye tastes like coconut
We are too weird.
I can't stop laughing.

I am very excited for Christmas Day. And Christmas Eve. And Boxing Day. Mmm. I'm excited to see you again. I'm excited to give. I'm excited to have fun. I'm excited for lots. Yay!

Mackenzie.

Ritchie from Grocery brought his daughter into Safeway yesterday. She's two and honestly the cutest child I have ever seen, Karen and I gave her some Disney Princess toys, haha. But, seeing her broke my heart. Her mom has breast cancer. I can't even imagine how Ritchie must feel to know that he may have to raise her alone. It just put a lot of things in perspective and made me realize why Gord is so insistent on raising money for breast cancer research. Any problems in my life turned to nothing when I met that little girl.

Sooo, what happened to just sweeping this under the table and never talking about it again? HMM!? Fuck, shut up. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want you. I'M HAPPY. Dammit.

Wha?!

Okay, so I JUST realized Christmas is in like nine days. WTF. Slow down days, give me some time to figure out a new plan. BACK OFF basically. Merp. I can't believe I slept so much last night, jeeeze.
What to do todayyy, probably nothing. I am poor and bored. Lame.
And I have to close the bakery tomorrow. No calling in late. Lame.
Other than that, things are gooood.
HOW DO I WRITE THIS FREAKING LETTER?!

Oh my god, I feel 100% terrible. I think I am actually going to throw up. God, I hope I can get my work done quickly today and then go home, I haven't felt like this in a while. WHY WASN'T I ABLE TO SLEEP?! I have to leave for work in like ten minutes, fuuuuck.

Last night was a good night. And fuckin' random night and people say some retarded shit. But a good night.

Good day.

I am stoked for tonight! Gathering of Safeway people? Fuck yes!
And I got to go shopping today.
And I got laid.
Good day.

Too hungover for life.

I am so tired. FUCK. Getting drunk two days in a row is a bad idea, APPARENTLY. Well, last night was more so than the night before. I'm really paying for it today. I love it when it feels like knives are in my head. IN MY HEAD. Well, last night was super fun, and crazy. Haha. It's also really funny when I meet people and I'm like "Oh alright, they seem nice" then find out they're insane and hated. Haha, hopefully I am not found on Facebook. I also fail at drinking games. Except the most unique underwear, I win at that one. I just happened to be wearing a gold thong. How coincidental. I never want to drink again. Except, that's a dirty lie. Friday will be a night to get drunk. Although, at this rate you're going to think I'm a big nympho or something. I say things when I get drunk. Jeeze. We do need a phone cabinet for when we're drinking. I wanted to stop texting when I was drinking but it wasn't affecting me for so long so I figured it'd all be cool. THEN IT HIT ME. Hahaha. Anyways. Working time. Damn, I hope there is minimal packaging. I dread working right now. I'm going to pass out when I get home, I think.

Young Folks

"If you knew my story word for word, if you knew my history. Would you go along with someone like me?"
I'm starting to realize that it's a yes. It's not my choice that you know what you know. My mom mentions things, you ask. I can't lie! Which is a problem, I guess. Although it's nice that you just assure me you won't go crazy and make jokes about it. I don't think I've ever laughed more.
"I'd kill you."
"Whatever, I just came in your ass"
Seriously, even now I can't stop laughing. Dammit. I don't think two people are supposed to get along this well.
Also, people are going to have to stop being home all the time. It's not fair.
Gord telling me he wants to make me an assistant. STRAIGHT FROM THE STORE MANAGERS MOUTH! *Sigh of delight*
I'm too happy right now. It's wonderful.

Worktime is upon me soon.

Yep, it was five hours of Brittany dying. BUT I got one of the best sleeps of my life when I got home. So good. I just need four days of getting 2-5 hours of sleep each and then I can sleep! Yay!
Work tonight, hopefully it goes alright. It'll be nice to listen to music for 8 hours. And it's easy work. AND tomorrow is pretty much like a day off. So, it's not TOO bad. It'd just be cool if I didn't work overnight.
People need to stop being home, at all times. Uhg. A lack of siblings would be nice too.
Also, apparently, I'm liked. And I'm the first one.

Late night

I am more than exhausted right now. Seriously. I don't know how I'm going to get through work, it's going to be five hours of Brittany dying, I'm going to try and go home a hour early, I think. It's my own fault I'm this tired though.
And it was so worth it.

I can't handle this sometimes.

Things that I have begun to accept about my life I have now realized are directly related to hypoglycemia. I want it to be under control, but it's hard unless I test my blood sugar when I wake up, after I eat and at other times through out the day. I hate needles. Last time I tried the whole blood testing thing it was very painful and I couldn't even look. This is just so damn difficult. If it drops too low symptoms arise. If it gets too high symptoms arise. Apparently things other than sugar can affect it as well. Like potatoes. Well that's just fantastic. I just had a dinner of potatoes. So now I am dizzy, shaking, have a headache, exhausted and angry. The anger isn't a symptom. I'm just angry. And I work at 9 AM. Fuck. I'm too young for this shit. I shouldn't have to be on a timed special meal plan at this age. I've been shaking for the past hour and a half. I hate riding this out. Fuck, I am so exhausted with all this.
But, you caring and listening makes it a bit better. Thank you for being completely awesome <3

Way to turn my mood from happy to frustrated at once. Fuck you. Don't invite me over. Don't suggest shit. I will continue to change the subject on you.

Storms.

Sometimes I hate being the only straight friend. Storms, anger and a very drunk lesbian. WTF. *Sigh* But hearing this stuff makes me very thankful I'm straight. Very.

I go for mine, I got to shine.

Hey, go away, thanks. Get it through your head. I am happy. I do not need your empty apologies. I need you to GO AWAY. Thank you. Hopefully you got it finally.
I missed Starbucks for hours talking and having fun.
Ah, the good life.
<3

Love, Love, Love

I have fallen in love with James Blunt all over again. Five new songs to win my heart. Haha. And a DVD! *Swoon*
I am quite content with life. I almost feel bad because of it.

Jump In.

I don't know if I should just go for it or not. AUG. I think... I will? I mean. It was kinda initiated? Or, I don't know. I think mine not being changed it bugging you, but I'm not sure. But. Uhg. Maybe I'm thinking too much into this. Okay, I'll try going for it. I'm going to let go.

Pssh

That's confusing. I guess? Aug.

I got the huge ad done last night. It's cocky but I really am faster than the typical File clerk, and people tell me that, all the time. Seriously. I hang faster than most people, even while stopping every couple minutes to text. Yeah, pro, right here. Pro enough that Dana wants to make other people do stuff I don't like so that I stay on File. Mua haha.
I don't want to talk about the thing I want to talk about most.

Life.

I leave for work in half an hour. LAME. I'm going to get myself some coffee, something for my break and an energy drink. It'll be fun, haha.
Fuck, Sheena, why do you have such annoying exes?
I am stoked for days off :)
I miss photography. So much.
I'm stoked for life though. LIFE.

Fuck my body. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Why today of ALL days?! WHY FUCKING EARLY. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. I am so pissed off at my body and mother nature. You bitches and Stella are working against us AREN'T YOU. Fuck. I look really hot too.

Pfft

Missing is happening. Damn, this wasn't supposed to happen. Not expected.

Thank god for secret blogs.

I am so tired. Yet so awake. I will sleep in like an hour. Will I wake up at all tonight? Or will I sleep through to tomorrow? YOU NEVER KNOW. Oh jeeze. Safeway looks wonderful though.

I hate June for giving me a shift today. A checking one too! Aug, I just keep telling myself, it's just four hours. Four hours and then I get to come home and sleep for a couple hours.

Sleep

I accidently let myself fall asleep for two hours when I got home from work. DUMB IDEA. But, I felt better when I woke up, and not just in the more rested sense. Mm, maybe I'll go back to sleep again soon.

Hey! Listen!

I am sitting in Starbucks waiting until it is time for my busing adventure to commence. Whoohoo. I'm all jittery from sugar and coffee, fucking hypoglycemia. I wish it would die, seriously. I hate having something so delicious but then accidentally having too much then suddenly my body is like "FUCK YOU BITCH" However, due to this extreme busyness in my body and mind this will be a stream of thought entry. BE PREPARED.
This woman standing near me has the ugliest crocs I have ever seen. And crocs are disgusting to begin with. PLUS she's a level seventy. How gross.
So, you need to get out of my head, thinking about other things would be nice, but then you just keep resurfacing, it'd be cool if that would stop. Mmmkay?
ONE HOUR UNTIL BUSING, whoohoo. So I can leave in like have an hour, yaay. I like doing things on my day off, makes me feel less useless.
This is a fantastic drink they made me today, that asian lady sure does know her white chocolate mochas.
Okay, to comepletely go back to the topic I'm sure no one but me really cares about. But, I'm happy so I don't care. I like that you kiss the top of my head and say cute awkward things. It makes me feel less awkward. And thank you for agreeing that I am crazy and weird, but in an endearing way. I still can't believe I embarassed myself like that infront of you "Oh my god! My Zelda game has the same sticker on the back of it too! ... Oh, right, this is my game". I fail at life sometimes.

I had such a good day.

The only part sucky part about having an early shift is the waking up early part. Oi, although I did so with minimal difficulty today, I'm just not very functional. It's just desk anyways, I can be a little extremely exhausted for that.

I can't believe you would say that.. You might have meant it as a joke, but still. That's not cool. Whatever, I think your wrong and I'm excited.

Urg

I was happy to have a day off. I didn't want a shift. Amanda better be on her fucking deathbed. UHG. I don't want to close/work desk, yeah, it's both. grumble. I was going to do laundry and figure out how to get rid of this fat lip today IT WAS A GOOD PLAN. Instead I get to work, when I woke up 45 minutes before my shift started because I went to be at 5 AM, thinking I didn't have a shift today. Grumble. Then get woken up at 9 AM, five times, by Safeway. Urg.

Lala

Lalala I got asked out today
Lalala he's cute
Lalala yay!

Goodbye

We don't have a heck of a lot in common and you make no moves. Pfft. So, I will take my friends advice and drop it. It's better.

Bored.

I am honestly so bored right now. I might just go to sleep so I have something to do. SO BORED.

Needed.

I'm glad I went out last night, I had a lot of fun and I needed the confidence boost.
Work is going to fucking suck balls today. I feel too hungover to be alive.

Begin.

I had a really, really angry post on here. I deleted it. I still feel it though, and if you're not careful I'm going to burst and freak out on you over all of it.
I have to stay up until my laundry is done. I want to sleeeep.