Friday, October 23, 2009

This is getting weird.

Is it just me or... I don't mean to sound self-centered here... But, it almost seems like she's trying to create similarities. I don't know. When you add it all up together it's kind of creepy. Eek.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

"And I love me, almost as much as I love you"

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I'll live. It's just frustrating.


The benefit to having to get to school at 7:30 am on Tuesdays is I actually have time. Time to just sit and do nothing of importance, I'm just checking up on the internets, can flip through my text to refresh, get a coffe and go to class when it's time. I don't get time anymore. It feels like I'm busy every moment of my life, and I also feel like I'm behind in everything that needs to get done every moment of my life. Every second I'm at work is time that could be spent working on Art. I could be reading my textbook. I could be studying. I'm working far too much and these next two weeks could be what drives me insane. I was going to make a pact with myself that I wouldn't drink until my birthday but then I realized that I don't have any time when I Could drink before my birthday, seeing as my birthday is my next day off. Sigh. I'm just trying to remind myself of how awesome life will be once I'm done school and onto real life.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Everyone keeps telling me that I'll stop being excited to be 20 once it happens because it'll mean I'm getting old. But, that is precisely the reason I am excited to be 20, I'll be older and well on my way to getting out of here.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I am obv going to be a pro CSI

SO, thanks to my detective skills I have figured out why the two people that sit near me in my Criminal Justice class are so tight, they are dating. My detective skills include them adding me on Facebook, BTW.
Part of my student loan came in today, YAY. Ahh, the feeling of relief. Soon those papers I need to take to the Post Office will arrive and I can get it alllll taken care of.
Basically, other than my home life and work life things are going well.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Don't Stop Believin' by Journey has been stuck in my head for the past couple days. My god.
I must admit, it's certainly frustrating for rather large things in my books to go down and the next day it's as if it never happened. Especially considering I was the one most affected by it. Hmph.
I friggin hope Catherine called back yesterday and took back the extended part of my shift. I JUST WANT FOUR HOURS. God Safeway, just let me go there, have an easy four hours talking to customers and ringing through their groceries then go home until Friday. God. The sharpie on my hand and the stamp in my wrist won't come off, arg. Although, the door guy's face when he was trying to stamp me on a non-tattooed arm was priceless.
When I get home from work I'm going to put laundry in, do some homework and go to bed early so I won't be too tired when I have to wake up at 5am tomorrow!
Whatever happens today and tomorrow morning will all be worth it after class tomorrow and I know I'll be smiling for the rest of the day <3

Sunday, September 27, 2009

It's really fucking great to get home from work and then get to hear about how much you're hated and how you fuck everything up.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Ah

My head is pounding with pain right now. Fuck cigarettes. Worst thing ever. I just want it to end. Sigh. I want to do some homework but my head hurts so much I wouldn't be able to start.
We had a biggie talk about our past and our future and everything, it was actually really good. I honestly didn't realize that the fact I'm scared history will repeat itself showed. But, he notices everything, and I'm glad we talked about it and laid my fears to rest. Also, we both agree we are in this for the long term and see a future. And it doesn't scare either of us. This is the first time someone has said these things to me and it hasn't scared me. I've spent so much of my life not wanting to let people in completely but now that I have I feel so much better, this just makes sense. I'm completely happy and have earned a drawer :) <3

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I am so bad at this whole doing art thing.

I hate this dumb assignment thing, my crazy witch art teacher can suck it. Except, I want a solid GPA, so she can't actually suck it, she can give me good marks. At least I got my deference done today, so I don't have to worry about That for a little bit.
Also, I forgot how charcoal gets fucking everywhere.
On an annoying note, today it seems like Facebook is infested with a certain someone i would rather it not be infested with. So, rather than being able to just comment on my friends humorous status' carefree... I still comment on them, but get to have a feeling of dread over how it will be interpreted. Pretty sure I should be allowed to comment on my work friend's Facebooks without worrying. Fuck, seriously, the world is not centered around you as much as you'd like to think it is. The time in which you had disapeared from my social networking website of choice was a really lovely time, I did what I wanted and you didn't pop up everywhere because apparently your hobbies include the internet and being a bitch. Gosh, I am friendly, aren't I?
I should probably just block her on Facebook now and maybe that would allow her to disapear, that would be nice. But, I hate appearing petty, maybe I am? Unintentionally, which I think may be the difference between the two of us.
I am 1000% happy with the person I am with for the first time ever, we don't have drama. I love it and I love him, I will not allow how much girls have hurt me in the past get in the way of this. I guess I have grown accustom to the usual cycle of girls (usually past love interests) being a great source of drama in my relationships, the fact he doesn't allow this to happen puts me on edge. My mind keeps expecting it to happen at any moment. For some reason typing this out has cleared my mind and put me at ease :) Probably why I began this blog in the beginning.
I feel pretty good about this.
Also, very excited about my next tattoo.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Apparently Safeway has decided I will be working 30 hours a week and going to school full time. Seriously, fuck my life.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Fearless


And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why when with you I dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless


Monday, August 17, 2009

We won't lose this.

I have never felt like this. I know it's 6-12 months away but I don't want you to move. And, if it does come to that, I may end up going with you. Oh God.

Friday, July 24, 2009

I am so fucking nervous for my driving exam it's not even funny.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Aug, so I went shopping today and probably spent too much money. Sigh, oh well, just no shopping allowed for me for a bit. On the bright side I finally got all applied for everything :)

Monday, April 27, 2009

I feel like dying because of my fucking terrible cigarette allergy. My fish died. Sigh.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Just Dance.

I am painfully hung over. I don't even know what I was drinking last night. Obviously whatever it was I had a lot of it. I don't want to work. It's going to be ultimate fail. And after work.... Dinner with Matty's parents, whoohoo. Ima die. Big thanks to everyone who took care of my drunk ass last night. Biggie thanks to Matty for letting me collapse on him and wait for the room to stop spinning, and for putting up with me being a drunk girl.
All in all though, superbly awesome night.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Uhg, no three days off for Brittany. Have to leave for work soon now. Sorry Resident Evil, you will be neglected today, so sad :(

Sunday, March 29, 2009

There is no new PostSecret yet. WTF. The benefit to waking up at 3am on Sundays is reading the new PostSecret early. Efff, bitches be slacking. Mmm, huge grocery ad this week, going to spend my entire shift hanging by the looks of it, get off at noon, yay! I'll take a hour or two nap and I will be good to go! Then I work in Floral tomorrow, even though I totally had a dream that they changed it to a desk shift. THEN, three days off! Man, I should put the Sebastien Grainger & The Mountains album into my iPod and listen to iiiit. One week!

I'm tired.

I was totally almost completely asleep last night.... And then my phone started virbrating, frustratingggg.

Time to finish getting ready for work... Sigh.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Oh fuck off allergies.

So, today I had another allergic reaction. Eff. I don't like this. I am so scared to go to the doctor and have him be like "So, you are allergic to everything. Hope you didn't enjoy food, you get none of that anymore" I don't want the prick test. Needles scare the fuck out of me.

I've never been with someone who has made me feel so good about myself. It's wonderful.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

So, at work currently and totally got the ad hung in four hours, who's awesome? I am! Just three more hours...
I realized that when I'm happy I never really write any entries, mostly because I figure if nothings going wrong then people don't really care to hear about my life. Hm. Oh well? Anyways, in case anyone was wondering I am perfectly happy, aside from the crappy work day I had yesterday things are turning up Brittany! It's been so long since I've felt this way... It feels unfamililar. Mmm yes.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Saturday, March 14, 2009

4!

So, went shopping yesterday. Totally lost all the weight I gained while I was with Sandtard :) So, basically I am feeling pretty good about myself. Hence why I want to go tanning soon. Hmm, Monday before work... or Wednesday... I could probs go right now, actually, I have like two hours to kill... Nah, too tired. Ahh, yes. Things are good. <3

Monday, March 9, 2009

Plans.

So, here is me mapping things out for myself.
1) Buy new camera, so I can have a hobby aside from Safeway.
2) Work my ass off to be a manager
3) pay myself off for the camera
4) Get driving lessons
5) Get car (loan?)
6) Figure out what to take in Post-Sec
7) Great success!

This is in a relative order. Manger may not come as soon as I would like, but you have to work for whatchu want, bebe. Basically, I need to live like a poor person for a while and save save save. It'll be worth it eventually.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

It's time I forget the past....

....And just learn to love what I have.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Movie Script Ending

Kay, first of all, Facebook is being a giant cocksucker and taking forever to load.
Anyways, moving along.
1) Love my phone, new best friend.
2) I need new clothing, too bad that costs money
3) I'm not even sure if this bugs me or not? I mean, right now, it makes sense for Us. I just feel like sometimes people think it's weird. I know I shouldn't care what other people think, it's just unfamiliar. Oh well, you know what? I'm happy. I'm happy with how things are progressing, I like taking it slow, savoring the moments. I don't know why I worry sometimes ^^;

Monday, March 2, 2009

So, Sunday at work was awful, Jenny called in sick two hours after her shift started, so we were fucking screwed. People were yelling at me for signs, I did not give them said signs. I was too busy! Uhg, worst day.
So, I did some calling around at Telus, and even though my contract isn't up for seven months I am going to be able to renew for a cheap price :) I am so stoked, which means, I am probably getting my new phone tomorrow, it will be sexy and mine! :)
So, the other night when I was asked if it was difficult dating someone who works such different hours than mine and I said no, I really realized it doesn't frustrate me as much as it used to. It's still sad that the time between when we see each other can be 1 day to 10 days, but, you're completely worth it. <3
I really want a lot of video games right now. I lack the time for these video games, anger!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

So, I have to wake up for work in six hours, whoohooo! Not even thinking about going to bed right now. By midnight? Perhaps. My eye is itchy.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


I love Kate Nash. So cute.
For the first time I have someone who I feel like I can talk to, and not be judged for it. You just make me feel better when I get upset about stuff and don't get angry about things that are beyond my control. It's wonderful and thank you. I miss you too much.

In other news, Paul told me when he leave I can keep his nametag! Yay!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Right now I am too exhausted to do anything but I can't go to bed yet. I plan on going to bed at 8 and sleeping for 12 hours. That should balance out the fact I've been up since three nicely.
Moving along, Harpreet was talking to me today about how I should take advantage of the free medical I get from Safeway and use my $300 allocated for eyecare. So, I'm going to look into getting new glasses, ones I'll actually wear. Ones that will look sexay on me!
So, basically I have nooo clue what is bouncing around in your head sometimes. It seems like you're implying stuff sometimes. But, I don't know. Dang, if only I could read minds! Just, some of the things you say. I don't even know if I'm there yet. But, I'm getting there. Just, after you say some of those things there's something in the way you kiss me that leads me to believe.... Whatever, we have time to figure this out.
Ahh, 3:21 AM and I'm getting ready for work. Thrills. I'd be really stoked if I could not be starting work at 4 AM and still get off early. I guess I shouldn't really complain though, I have 40 hours this week while a lot of people are getting like 10-20 hours a week...
I made a really delicious pasta salad last night, I'm rather proud of myself.
I was really awake when I woke up, but already I can feel myself getting more tired, sad times... Oh well, I warned Matty that I may fall asleep tomorrow, this is something he just needs to accept.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I'd like to draw you a floorplan of my head and heart

Ah, so all my worries were put at ease and everything went over better than I thought. Thankfullly. I don't even know what to write right now... I have a lot bouncing around in my head and no clue on how to begin to get it out.
Hm, well, I can't pretend that I didn't get disappointed the other night. Oh well, it just kind of shows me what comes first for you, and if that's not us, then so be it. Just don't expect me to treat you well when you don't do the same for me. I don't appreciate being lied to.
Tomorrow is Day 2 of 7 days of work in a row. Whoohooo! I am stoked, only not at all. Aaaand, Bakery meeting tomorrow, eek. Except, I really made the bakery look sexy tonight, Karen best appreciate it.
Yesterday was pretty awesome, and by pretty awesome I mean 110% awesome. I am so happy just being with you. I've never had anyone put thought into a date like that. I loved walking around the art museum with you, and making fun of/questioning/coming up with explanations for modern art. "This seems to be... A pile of dirt." I also love experimental cooking, and that you know just when I need to be held during a movie. Heck, you know just when I need to be held in general. I just feel better when I'm with you.
God, I'm tired. Time to take two Tylenol flu Nighttime and pass out.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Cling.


Soo, I was feeling weird and stuff last night, I'm not even sure why. Oh well.
I am so glad I have two whole hours until my shift starts, instead of having to start right now like I normally would. That would be lame! So, instead of working during these two hours I am going to work on the thing I'm giving you tomorrow (eek!) and really, really hope you love it. Please do! And I'm going to work on it after work as well. I was it to be perfect... Whatever that is. Aug, anyways, I am really excited to see you, and for us to be all cute and stuff, because we seem to be good at that. AND, Art Museum? Hellz yes!
I am really down with music right now, I mean I always am, but I have weird happy feelings about music lately... If that makes any sense?
Also, so, last night was not awkward, up until the point in the car when Allyson said "Oh, so are you two dating?" "Oh, right, Brittany you have a boyfriend!" Yeah, excellent. Oh well. Moving along.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

My throat is starting to hurt. However, strept throat isn't really down with me. Sooo ColdFX here I come. Seriously, best 20 dollars I ever spent.
I realized today when I'm feeling down I write better. My thoughts seem more intelligent. Lame!
I folded stars today, which I missed. But I also don't typically have time to sit down and folding paper stars for three hours. Oh well.
Uhg, Wednesday begins my seven days of working extravaganza. Kill meee.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

I hate being too poor for life. Aug.

Friday, February 13, 2009

I don't want to go to work. Amber's right, I should've called in saying my parents died and I need the day off. Except, then they might give me too much time off. Oh well, on Thursday I'll be glad I worked today. Yep. Baump, I need to leave for work within like four minutes. I will squeeze out every last second though.
Tomorrow is V-Day and I am quite stoked. Morning = seeing my BF for like two hours, before he has to go to work. Afternoon/evening = Amanda funtimes! :) This year will beat last year, for sure. Well, just it being a new year already beats it.
AAAAND, i really enjoy our AM talks. (not the radio frequency AM, the early morning time, like aftermidnight) It makes me happy and ah, just wonderful. I can't see how things could get much better.
Kay, WORKTIME.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Head Spins!

Okay, so, I know no matter what you'll appreciate what I give you. AND, I hope this is cute and you realize how much I'm putting my heart into it. I know you will, but I still worry. Hence why my head is spinning in fear that you'll be like "Uhhh.... Sweet?" AUG. I don't even think I've put this much effort into something for someone... Oh, wait, maybe, that time. Yeah. That was about the same amount. But, anyways. I hope this goes well. I hope it's cute and stuff! <3
Now, back to making cute happen and panicking! Whoohoo!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Love.

God, I love Vancouver. Tattoo = Approx. 600. Which means I can go for a consultation... Then BAM. After four hours or so I will have a tattoo! I think this will be happening sometime in March, after I get my Vacation Pay from work.
So, Tegan and Sara last night. Amazing. Best show of my life, obv. My heart stopped.

Friday, February 6, 2009

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

I'm not sure if you do. I'm not sure if I do. Buuut, some of the things you say make me think. I don't know. Whatever. I love spending time with you. Lawwwllll. But for serious? I am so happy with you. And no matter what I will be here for you during this. I might not always know what to say but I am pretty damn good at knowing when a hug is needed.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

ColdFX and salt water are my saviours

I can feel myself getting better! YES. Thank you ColdFX, I am able to move a whole lot better now and it's mostly my stuffy nose and sore throat that is bugging me now, which will be fixed by gargling warm salt water. YES. I am so glad.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Fuck.

Oh my god. I woke up this morning and I am definently sick. I don't know how I'm going to make it through work. I am dying. My throat hurts which is causing an ear infection, my head is POUNDING, my body is weak and standing takes so much effort. Whyyy?! I am so glad I have tomorrow off, I'm going to lay in bed all day and make myself better.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I'm a little concerned that someone would say those things about me? Yes, I was drunk, but I am also quite aware I did not do that. Whatever, people are retarded. It's just weird and embarrassing for me.
I have to work today, poop. Well, at least it's not cash. And I do need the hours. I have like zero this week. And by that I mean I'm only working three days. And only one of those days is eight hours. Eeep!
Also, time flies by quickly. I knew it was coming, but when you mentioned it I realized, if that makes sense? Haha, oh well, I'm happy and excited for whatever happens next :) <3
AND, I had a lot of fun last night. Haha, soo good :)

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Alcohol may cause you to forget things.

Ahh, last night was crazyy, I've been piecing the night together and here's what I kind of remember:
- Not paying for any drinks, even though I tried.
- Having sweet talks with Amanda and Sam and pre-drinking on the skytrain, haha. We are awesome.
- REALLY having to pee once we got off the skytrain and running around to find a bathroom, and almost not finding it, thank you random man who showed us where it was!
- Giving ALL my change to a homeless lady
- Chasing vodka with Malibu because we ran out of chase.
- Sara Sim and I being insane together and talking about how much we love Safeway
- Trying to help the Mexican girl feel better.
- My other bathroom friend who for some reason I thought was really awesome.
- That guy in the red sweater who told me he had a tattoo and I was really excited to talk about tattoos with someone so I sat with him and his friends for a while and he wouldn't tell me what his tattoo was or where it was. So, I left him. Until I found him again outside and he was leaving and I said he HAD to tell me, so he tried to kiss me and I hit him. Then he informed me he doesn't have a tattoo. Asshole.
- I'm pretty positive I fell at some point.
- Talking to that girl (I think her name was Jo) for a really long time and swearing we had to add eachother on Facebook, except I couldn't remember her name.
- People telling me about the cute things he said about me :)
- On the skytrain when these two guys were fighting with Paul and Craig and they almost followed us to Mikey's place, and they were yelling and shit. Assholes.
- Me being a huge jerk to Paul
- Mikey telling me about the huge crush he has on Sam
- Me then telling Sam about it.
- Constantly having people come up to me and say "Hey, I'm you're Matty's girlfriend right?" then, even though I would always tell them my name, being referred to as only that.
- Having a long talk with Danielle
- Having a long talk with Lindsay
- Wondering where Sam was half the night.
- Hanging out with some random guy from Europe who happened to be sitting near us.
- Dying from the cold.

The rest of it just blurs together, oh god. So drunk. But so much fun.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Take Me Anywhere

Bright just like the stars above me
Proud just like my mother planned it
Short on all the things I don't want
I'm full of love and longing
Take me by the hand and tell me
You would take me anywhere
Still, cause I don't want to move a thing
In hopes that you'll fit right into me
And all the things I don't want they're full
Of love and longing
Take me by the hand and tell me
You would take me anywhere
And it goes, its like a come on come on to me
And it goes it's like a come on come on to me
You, you say you don't see any part of me
To love in all this mess and I know
You take the good and all the bad that comes with me

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I don't care if you don't need to hear it. I'm happy.

I love long, lazy days. The kind where we just lay around, watch movies, kiss, and talk. Even though a good week for us is when we can see each other twice in the same week... I do love the days we do get to spend together. We're silly and cute. And I enjoy it immensely. <3

Monday, January 26, 2009

Hey, remember that time this was a secret blog that no one else read? I kind of miss that time. Before this was a place where I could honestly get out anything I was feeling and wouldn't be judged for it. Now it seems to be a place where people personally attack me through their posts. I just thought friendship meant more than that.
I always feel this need to please everyone at all times. And I always manage to fail and have everyone get mad at me. So, the past 24 hours have led me to this point. Where I can already tell what a horrible day this is going to be and I am crying uncontrollably. I have to go into work half an hour early because Pam wants to talk to me about closing, even though I thought I did a really good job. So, I fail at my job. Apparently my self worth is measured by how much I make and if I live on my own. And I'm a terrible friend.

Let the 'Brittany sucks' fest continue.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I love you Fable

I finally got Fable 2. Mmm yes. I am so stoked. I'm not playing it yet because I'll never leave for work otherwise, but I read the entire manual and I am EXCITED. Lovelovelove.
I went to the Naam in downtown Vancouver the other night and it was amazing! Organic vegetarian food? Mmm yes, tofu has never tasted so good! Amazing atmosphere as well. Def will go again.
Worktime soon, I haven't done a closing shift in FOREVER, this will be odd, oh well, I love Catherine so it'll be fun. Aaand, I def need more money so working is good. I think if I have to work cash I'd rather it be a closing shift anyways. Hopefully Steve worked everything out for Tueday.
It makes me sad Tuesday is probably the next time I'll get to see you. Busy lives suck :( I miss you.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Dear Nintendo, I hate you.

I've been really frustrated with Nintendo. Seriously. I mean, when I heard they were going to aim at the 'casual gamer' I was like 'Okay, I guess that's alright. Whatev' But, it's making me really mad. I hate the Wiimote, I have decided. It ruined everything. I'm tired of gimmicks. Every game that comes out is centered around how the Wiimote makes it alllll better. Nope, frankly, I would love to stick to my Xbox 360 or PS3. Better graphics? Better gameplay? Better selection of titles? Thank you very much. Nintendo, you are lucky you make Zelda, that's the only reason I continue to buy from you. Fuckkk. It's sad to see what was once such a great company take such a downturn. I don't care how revolutionary it is that 60 year olds are playing video games! If I'm not enjoying them, what's the point?! "Only 13% of Wii games accounted for around 80% of sales." My point exactly. Maybe I'm just bitter? I used to be the biggest Nintendo fangirl, but, recently I've found it too difficult to defend them. They are the weaker system right now. And I just don't have the fun I used to have anymore. So, yes, my 360 will be recieving my love. Microsoft keeps me warm at night.

Monday, January 19, 2009

My thoughts.

I am now done work until 6:30PM on Thursday, oh yess. And, I have made the executive decision that I will be getting rid of my Friday shift. I am tired. I don't understand how. Last night I slept sooo much. I don't even understand how. I have a feeling I will be in bed by midnight, weeeird.
Work was prettyyy awesome today, I enjoyed myself
My room needs to be cleaner.
I have discovered how to press flowers.
I love Kate Nash more than usual as of late.
I forgot what this was like. It's going decently thus far though.
My DS died while I was playing it. Sad!
I'm hungryy, but too lazy to get up and make something. Oh, but I really want spaghetti, with like, vegetably sauce. Mmmm, chunks of vegetables <3

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Time is mine!

Work at four am! When most people are either sleeping or staying up late. Lame. Oh well, I'll sleep when I get home! Then a short shift tomorrow. THEN 2.5 days off!! YES. I will have time to read, and play video games. Oh yes, I am excited for this. Aaaand, I am excited for Tuesday night = New experiences and guiltless? Awesome.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Mhm.

I don't know how you do it. It just amazed me when you said that... Thank you for understanding and not judging me for it. It's nice to know the small things don't go unnoticed and that you care. You don't even know what it means to me.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Too long.

“Nico take it slow, show me that you care”

All I can think about lately is how wonderful the summer will be. Lying in the grass, under the sun. Good music. (like, GOOD music). Late nights. Warmth. Summer clothing. I just crave it.
Kasey thinks she’s so smug. Little does she know what’s happening. People know. Pam asked me today if I was going to be becoming a manager. And I could honestly say yes. It’s going to happen. It excites me and terrifies me all at once. Life is changing. I’m growing. If you would’ve asked me when I was little what I would be doing when I was nineteen… Never would I have imagined that someday soon I will be the person in charge of closing a large chain supermarket. I got to give a tour of the backroom today and yes, it is huge. And it’s mine. I feel proud.
My self-esteem inexplicably takes a huge dive randomly sometimes. Like, I just have days where I feel all my clothing makes me look shitty and that my face needs to go away. I don’t like it. I don’t like that feeling. I felt it for a while because of whom I was with. I have no reason for this anymore. I don’t understand.
I miss photography.
Things I really want to do:
- Go to a dark restaurant (the ones where you dine in the pitch black)
- Go to more concerts.
- Go to Vancouver more often.
- Find my camera and take more pictures. May need to give up and buy a new camera.
- Go to more museums, I love them.
- Experience new things more often.
- Find the courage to speak what I feel.
- Put these ideas I have on canvas.
- Start my tattoo. I crave it, so badly.
- Read more.
- Play more video games.
- And so much more.

“Balloons or no balloons”

Things make me think. A lot. I don’t know why I’m in such a thinking mode right now…. I mean, I obviously always think. It’s just one of those nights. I love The Format. It speaks to me. I love that. When the lyrics of a song just make you think “Wow, you seem to have nailed my life down. How did you manage that one? Well, thank you.” My hair is lengthening. Sufjan Stevens also does that. Oh, yes. It’s delicious.

I remember when I just wrote in my blog and didn’t have to think about the fact people were reading it. I miss that. I need to stop thinking about what people may think about me. This is supposed to relieve the stress of my life because I can be open in a way I cannot be anywhere else. Hmph.

I still live my days in worry that I may be contacted again, or may run into him. It’s terrible. I want to KNOW it’s not going to happen again, but sadly, with him you never know. Sometimes you just have to accept that because you made mistakes in your life you now get to live on edge that another drunk call may occur.

MAN. I love Sufjan Stevens. It’s just. Amazing. That is a concert I would kill to see. Especially at a festival. Mmm.

I am tired right now. But. I don’t feel this is done. There is so much within me, needing to burst out. If only I could get over my fears! I wish people wouldn’t say things to hurt me, whether they intend it to or not. I think they know who they are. It makes me feel terrible and clouds my previously sunny views on you. There. Something 100% honestly put. Relief. Although, there are some things I’m not even sure of in myself. But, I have plenty of time to sort it out. I am only nineteen! Life is still ahead of me!

I need to wake up at nine am. It is now two am. Oh well. I am going to be tired, considering how little sleep I got last night. Maybe that will be good for me. Maybe tomorrow night I will be able to have a regular sleep. I would enjoy that.

I get weird when I’m tired. Weird and less inhibited. About my thoughts I mean. I just say things… Then afterwards wonder why I did. I don’t know. That’s my self-consciousness coming out.

Okay. I must end this for now. Sleep must occur. I don’t want to be too tired. Goodnight. This is too long, I think.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Epic.

Awesome, awesome night.
I forgot how wonderful a live show can make you feel, even if you don't really know the bands. Rich Hope? Amazing guitar and harmonica, he was an amazing performer. Glasvegas? Killers-esque and also amazing. An epic feeling. Mmm yes. Richards on Richards is a nice club. Would definitely go back. Aaaand, afterwards was amazing as well. I'm so glad you don't mind just cuddling together for large spans of time :) and you certainly can say some pretty words <3

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Today!

So, today I am going shopping. To buy a better work uniform. And a white shirt. In preperation of what is to come. I need to make a list of what to do today. So, here it is:
- Buy new work uniform
- Finish my letter and print it, ready to hand to Gord on Monday, maybe I'll even go in tomorrow and give it to him.
- Clean my downstairs because I am too OCD for how messy it is right now.
- Wrap my mom's present and sign the card
- Look into what I will be taking in September class wise.
- Budget myself considering I will be starting to pay rent soon, ew.
- Paint, because I miss it.
Overall, looking like a very productive day ahead of myself! I am stoked :)

Friday, January 9, 2009

I hate how my hair always looks really good on days when I'm getting it done! Anger!
Oh well.
Last night was awesome, awesome, awesome.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Mhm

I am so glad I start work at 10:30 rather than ten. I always get all prepared to start work at ten on these days and then I have a whole half hour for Brittany! Oh yes.
I don't want to work today thoughhh, I would much rather have the day off. ALTHOUGH, I just have to to remember, I work today and have a four shift tomorrow, then happy. And the day after that four hour shift THEN MY WEEKEND STARTS. Yeah, that's right. I get a weekend. Mmmm yes.
I need to get my mom's birthday present soon, because Sunday is her day of aging. Yep.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Random medication induced ramblings

Need to remember my letter tomorrow.
That is my reminder to myself.
I need to stop being sick :(
Day off on Tuesday! :)
ENTIRE WEEKEND OFF THIS WEEKEND!! :D
I'm happy, generally. My blips of sadness get alleviated by better things in life.
I am stoked for big things happening in the workplace. Ten hour days will be starting soon, but I don't care, it'll be worth it when I have a sweeet job.
I just relaxed after work today and let my body rest, which was obviously needed. Why won't this sickness go away? Or at least it pretends.. Then it's like "KIDDING! STILL HERE!!!" Merp. Do not like.

Sick.

Why did I have to go and get drunk last night?! AUG!! 6-2:30. LAMEEE
I'm going to die. Although, I think the cough and my sinus' will assist me in convincing people I'm just sick.

Friday, January 2, 2009

You noticed :)